Monday, March 28, 2016

The day we all overthunk the Pappadum song

Sunday morning, my one-year-old slept in until 8am, so we’re killing it already. We decide to go out for breakfast because, as previously mentioned– killing it. I feed the tiny human some grapes in front of the idiot box pre car trip, The Wiggles are on. Before I had a baby I genuinely thought The Wiggles must be awesome and educational as ‘all the kids’ seem to love them. Then I went and had a baby and along with things like ‘I’ll never feed him sugar or McDonalds, and we’ll never watch In The Night Garden (ITNG) – that all changed. 

 Parenting is like communism, it looks good in theory and then bam, you’re pretty much just a parent in a sea of other parents taking orders from someone who can’t (or just chooses not to) wipe their own arse, and singing songs that you don’t really like. We often watch ITNG on the iPad while eating McNuggets and washing it all down with a Tiny Teddy, and yes we watch The Wiggles. 

I have no problem with him watching them, he can wiggle his butt off if he wants to, but as a 36-year-old, tired-as-f*ck washer woman I do not like them. I get that it’s their gig and they like things like ballet, glasses, opera, pirates, bows, and pappadums, but can we mix it up a little? And I’m glad they have a girl Wiggle who plays the drums and drives the big red car, it’s like a G rated version of the women’s lib movement. So, back to our living room, the pappadum song was on. I liken my feelings for that song to the time I thought I had tape worms and had to Google tape worms. The song is just the word pappadum repeated 1054 times while the Wiggles bust some Bollywood dance moves, it’s all a little bit ridiculous but whatevs. I do find the part where one Wiggle simulates playing cricket (OMG, you so thought I was going to say something else there) a tad offensive, but I’m not going to start burning any skivvies and marching in the street yelling “down with Dorothy”. What I did do was post this on a mummy Facebook page - cue collective bat-sh!t crazy!

I thought my reference to pirate stereotypes sort of set the light-hearted tone, but I there are better ways to ‘do culture’ on kid’s TV. Technically this song and dance/costume is cultural appropriation.

Two hours pass and I get back from my coffee at a café with grown ups to find that the mummies had collectively lost their shiz. Some were with me, some thought I needed to get the f*ck down from my politically correct white privilege horse – but it sure did generate some discussion. Was I out of line? Was this cultural appropriation? Will Anthony find the nann bread? 

Beyoncé and the whiney guy from Coldplay recently got torn a new one when they released the video for Hymn for the Weekend, and Katy Perry gets in trouble for it pretty much every time she puts out a new song - so we’re all aware it’s a thing right? As social media commenters we can go a little bit too Maude Flanders on PC issues, but should The Wiggles be dressing in traditional Indian dress, munching on pappadums while playing cricket? One Facebook commenter who was in the ‘get off your horse’ camp suggested the Scottish ditty sung in a kilt and red wig song would be offensive too. Offensive to my ears, yes – but no, I’m not going to boycott ABC Kids over the pappadum song. ABC Kids is the yin to my McNuggets yang, I love it and I’m glad my tax-payer dollars fund that big red car – pappadums or no pappadums.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Finally time for finger food

We recently started having dinner with our little guy at about 6:30pm. Before this we were feeding him, then walking, then bathing, then bed time, then cooking dinner and wind-down with wine Netflix. This was not working well, as he goes to bed later than one-year-olds in 'the books' (about 8:30pm) and his dinner time was a massive struggle and really just 'dead' time while we tried to entertain and feed him.  

Now as soon as Dad gets home we have dinner together (this means I need to have some sort of shit together and have prepared dinner) and then go for an ergo walk. This is working so much better, and I've been making double dinners so I can freeze half and get a day 'off' next week. On the days I don't need to make a dinner I make him cool baby foods. Who is this person I've become?

I made these date balls yesterday, they are super easy and you don't really need to think/measure. I used; 
  • half a 500g bag of dates (squish them before you put them in the food processor as some still have the seeds) 
  • a handful of turkish dried apricots, 
  • a squirt of honey, 
  • about 2 tbls of coconut, 
  • a heaped tbls of cocoa powder, 
  • and small handful of oats. 
  • Whizz it up until it turns into a huge ball in the food processor. 
  • Roll into little balls and shake them in a lunchbox with a few spoonfuls of coconut flour - best way to coat them!

We Instagram all our food here.

The ginger approves.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

reread is not reading much anymore!

My little guy is a bit over eight months old and I have posted here about three times since he was born because, busy! OMG, I had visions of me sewing with a wee little baby napping or playing by my side while I enjoyed my maternity leave. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ...

So after not sewing, and often not even brushing my hair I don't have much time for blogging, but I do have time for Atticus. He's such a treasure (and is currently on the tail end of a 1.5 hour nap boo yah!) we play on the rug outside, read silly books, take aimless pram walks and eat lots of blueberries and shredded wheatmeal biscuits. Motherhood is not what I expected - it's better most times and worse sometimes. He's getting a little more independent now - as in I can pee by myself - so I think there may be a few sewing, crafting, reading hours on the horizon. 

Good, good, not so good!

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

morning cocoa

Being a breastfeeding mother I am avoiding or limiting a few things I previously enjoyed with much gusto - wine and coffee being on the top of my hit list. I still drink coffee, maybe two or three a week when I'm out and I time my 'wine window' so I can throw back a pinot with dinner a few nights a week. 

I thought I would make it to four months maximum with the whole breastfeeding thing, but turns out I actually quite like it and I will stick it out for six months exclusive and then probably up to a year. 

It's quite satisfying being able to produce little cartons of baby food with your jubblies, so I'm going all earth mother and eating and drinking things to help turn me from regular dairy to top-shelf guernsey. First cab off the rank is a morning cocoa. No sugar, just a heaped teaspoon of pure cocoa powder in boiling water and some milk - it's delicious and probably better than a morning coffee - although it still has caffeine. I feel like it's helping (it's got flavonoids in it, so hey it must be good right?) although it may just be the placebo effect. Next up fennel seeds and boobie bikkies ... 


Tuesday, January 27, 2015

I literally just cut my baby out of his onesie

I’m typing this one-handed. I have my five-week-old in one arm giving me the stink eye while he nurses. He’s dressed in an adorbs onesie with little foxes all over it. The suit has about three million poppers that had to be done up while he screamed and kicked, as both my partner and I attempted to put him into his outfit. 

About three and a half minutes prior to this my partner called bullshit on the Bonds EasySuit and stated “you need to go get some scissors, we going to have to cut him outta this.” Yes, we actually just cut our newborn out of an outfit that we managed to get halfway on before he turned that crazy-ass red/purple colour and his eyes went full ‘chucky doll’ on us. Why, for the love of false idols everywhere, do they make baby clothes so stupid?

The answer is hormones and idiocy. Hello hormones, thank you idiocy.  Prior to the birth of our bundle of joy I went a little soft in the head and gathered a very large assortment of sweet, and wonderfully cute baby clothes to feather my nest with. Sailor suits, overalls, baby jeggings, you name it – because OMFG how cute are baby clothes!?

We were gifted hand-me-downs and new outfits from expensive shops with names that sound like a shade of paint you’d paint you house with, oh so many cute little things! I was prepared, and we were to have the best dressed little chap in town. Awesome parenting – check.

I would often go into the nursery and do a ‘tiny outfit stocktake’ just to delight in;
1. how wonderful my taste is and,
2. to imagine my bonny boy dressed in his best outfits for photos and visits.
You could almost hear the ovaries pop each time I handled the tiny clothes. Just like big people clothes, but for tiny babies.

And that, is wherein lies the problem.

You see babies, unlike big people, generally get dressed while on their back, kicking and wailing. The combination of frantically flailing limbs with a scream that makes you think their little head might actually pop off if you don’t hurry the F up, makes doing things like putting an EasySuit on NOT easy.

Our saviour has been those swaddles with the two-way zipper – essentially a bag. We dress our baby in a bag. But now as he lies here (currently asleep) quietly farting into my hand, I look at him in his little outfit and melt, he looks so darn cute in this onesie with the foxes. I really should buy this in the next size up.    

Easy baby outfit = singlet and nappy

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Pom poms and pretty things

I don't want this little guy to bored shitless while he is in his bassinet, so I've been making 'interesting' things for him to look at. Today I made a little pom pom mobile with some tapestry wool and a wooden frame from a cross-stitch hoop. 

It's very pretty and 'dangles' very nicely. You can see the lovely liner I made in the background ... if you have a Rozibaby bassinet I sell them over here on Made It.

The new fabric that arrived in the mail ... ready to sew into new liners!

A few little gifts I made to send to friends.

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Sooooooo over it

38 and a bit weeks and I am so over this being up the duff gig. Really, those women who say how much they love being pregnant ... WTF? I can't wait to sleep on my stomach again and roll over in an unhindered and non-walrus-like manner. This is nature's way of getting women psychologically ready to march defiantly toward the inevitable god-awfulness of giving birth - we're just so fucking over by now we don't care. 

I also really want a drink ... you have no idea how good a cold glass of sav blanc looks right now. I did get a free scone today though, not quite a glass of vino but it was good. We went to the UNE Booloominbah open day to have a look at the beautiful old building. I love walking around university campuses - it always makes me feel better that there are people pursuing education and learning. Sometimes you need your faith in humanity restored after reading too many f*wit Facebook posts about how drinking four glasses of water first thing in the morning for 180 days will cure cancer. CURE cancer. OMFG. Anyhoo, here are some pretty pictures of the amazing old building.

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