Sunday, August 21, 2016

You will be "that" parent one day

You know that parent. That guy on the bus with a screeching toddler in peak hour. That young couple changing their kid’s nappy on a picnic table while you are trying to enjoy a BBQ with your friends. That lady in Coles choosing tomato sauce while her four-year-old lies in the middle of the aisle having an epic meltdown.

Before you had kids you were like ‘ugh, that will never be me’, now you’re just like ‘I feel your pain, I’ve been there too’. Welcome to That Club, it’s like Club Med but when they say ‘a world of playgrounds’ they mean the kind with beaches, sand, and mojitos. Your club has sand, but it comes home from said playground in your kid’s bum crack.

It’s a cool club though and you know you’re in it the first time you are that parent.

It’s that time you decided it would be a super idea to take your tiny baby to an art galley café for lunch. Or the time you and your partner made an executive decision to throw out the onesie in the Westfield change room and take your half naked babe to H&M for new duds. You feel the panic rise in you, but then you get a look, a nod or a smile and you know you’re not alone, you’re in the club and it’s going to be OK.

This club has benefits. People in their cars stop for you while crossing the roundabout, they essentially make a vehicle barrier so you can cross with your pram in complete safety. People will hold the lift for you. The hostesses on Virgin will gush over your sweet, dribbly baby and give you a blanket – OK, the benefits aren’t that crash hot, but there needs to some silver lining to sleepless nights and endless loads of washing right?

So whether you are a newbie or an old hand, at some stage in your parenting journey you will be that parent. If it’s not happened yet it will, embrace it and welcome to the club!

You can find this and other posts on the new Bespoke Baby website.

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Mother's Day, so many feels, so many crappy gifts

This is my seconds Mother's Day and my little guy is almost one and a half. He is much more fun than he was last Mother's Day! I am happy to admit I didn't overly love the newborn stage, or even the six month stage ... pretty much right up until about one I felt like a warm-blooded zombie with a vaporous soul. He was a handful, he was fucking adorable, but he was really a handful. He stopped drinking milk at about nine months, he didn't like to be put down - ever, he found napping hard and he didn't sleep though the night until his first birthday. OMFG!

Saying all that, we had good times, so many good time (I have the instagram pics to prove it to myself), and his dad has been amazing throughout. He reminds me all the time that I'm a great mum and that my job is as important as his (he has a pretty important kinda job) when I get feel guilty for being a stay-at-home mum. 

The shops have been gearing up big-time for Mother's Day, with glossy catalogues of all the things we mums love - robes, slippers, mugs? 

I always thought the days was a total wank and really just a Hallmark holiday - and it is - but now that I'm a mum I've gone all soft in the head or something. I am actually looking forward to my first craptacular little gift made with love by little hands. A card with pasta stuck to the front or a blob of clay, I am already getting all sentimental about how sweet it will be. 

Today I got a rock. He loves coming up to me at the park with things and putting them in my hand while saying what they are. Such a little sweetie pie.

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Three ingredients baked bean dinner!

My little eater is turing into a bit of a fusspot. He started out with baby-lead-weaning eating broccoli, broad beans, scrambled eggs. But now he mostly eats bananas, papadums and cheese! So easy, healthy finger foods are my friends right now.

He'll eat bread, croissants and muffins so I've been putting vegetables etc. in muffins to get him to eat some good stuff. Last night I couldn't be bothered waiting for him to try, and then throw baked beans on the floor so I put them in a muffin mix and hey presto - he ate them!

Super easy - I used a 220g of baked beans, 1/2 cup of self raising wholemeal flour and one egg. Mixed it up and popped it into main muffin pan. 10 minutes later they were ready. I even ate some. If you have a fussy eater who likes finger foods you need to try this!

Monday, March 28, 2016

The day we all overthunk the Pappadum song

Sunday morning, my one-year-old slept in until 8am, so we’re killing it already. We decide to go out for breakfast because, as previously mentioned– killing it. I feed the tiny human some grapes in front of the idiot box pre car trip, The Wiggles are on. Before I had a baby I genuinely thought The Wiggles must be awesome and educational as ‘all the kids’ seem to love them. Then I went and had a baby and along with things like ‘I’ll never feed him sugar or McDonalds, and we’ll never watch In The Night Garden (ITNG) – that all changed. 

 Parenting is like communism, it looks good in theory and then bam, you’re pretty much just a parent in a sea of other parents taking orders from someone who can’t (or just chooses not to) wipe their own arse, and singing songs that you don’t really like. We often watch ITNG on the iPad while eating McNuggets and washing it all down with a Tiny Teddy, and yes we watch The Wiggles. 

I have no problem with him watching them, he can wiggle his butt off if he wants to, but as a 36-year-old, tired-as-f*ck washer woman I do not like them. I get that it’s their gig and they like things like ballet, glasses, opera, pirates, bows, and pappadums, but can we mix it up a little? And I’m glad they have a girl Wiggle who plays the drums and drives the big red car, it’s like a G rated version of the women’s lib movement. So, back to our living room, the pappadum song was on. I liken my feelings for that song to the time I thought I had tape worms and had to Google tape worms. The song is just the word pappadum repeated 1054 times while the Wiggles bust some Bollywood dance moves, it’s all a little bit ridiculous but whatevs. I do find the part where one Wiggle simulates playing cricket (OMG, you so thought I was going to say something else there) a tad offensive, but I’m not going to start burning any skivvies and marching in the street yelling “down with Dorothy”. What I did do was post this on a mummy Facebook page - cue collective bat-sh!t crazy!

I thought my reference to pirate stereotypes sort of set the light-hearted tone, but I there are better ways to ‘do culture’ on kid’s TV. Technically this song and dance/costume is cultural appropriation.

Two hours pass and I get back from my coffee at a café with grown ups to find that the mummies had collectively lost their shiz. Some were with me, some thought I needed to get the f*ck down from my politically correct white privilege horse – but it sure did generate some discussion. Was I out of line? Was this cultural appropriation? Will Anthony find the nann bread? 

Beyoncé and the whiney guy from Coldplay recently got torn a new one when they released the video for Hymn for the Weekend, and Katy Perry gets in trouble for it pretty much every time she puts out a new song - so we’re all aware it’s a thing right? As social media commenters we can go a little bit too Maude Flanders on PC issues, but should The Wiggles be dressing in traditional Indian dress, munching on pappadums while playing cricket? One Facebook commenter who was in the ‘get off your horse’ camp suggested the Scottish ditty sung in a kilt and red wig song would be offensive too. Offensive to my ears, yes – but no, I’m not going to boycott ABC Kids over the pappadum song. ABC Kids is the yin to my McNuggets yang, I love it and I’m glad my tax-payer dollars fund that big red car – pappadums or no pappadums.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Finally time for finger food

We recently started having dinner with our little guy at about 6:30pm. Before this we were feeding him, then walking, then bathing, then bed time, then cooking dinner and wind-down with wine Netflix. This was not working well, as he goes to bed later than one-year-olds in 'the books' (about 8:30pm) and his dinner time was a massive struggle and really just 'dead' time while we tried to entertain and feed him.  

Now as soon as Dad gets home we have dinner together (this means I need to have some sort of shit together and have prepared dinner) and then go for an ergo walk. This is working so much better, and I've been making double dinners so I can freeze half and get a day 'off' next week. On the days I don't need to make a dinner I make him cool baby foods. Who is this person I've become?

I made these date balls yesterday, they are super easy and you don't really need to think/measure. I used; 
  • half a 500g bag of dates (squish them before you put them in the food processor as some still have the seeds) 
  • a handful of turkish dried apricots, 
  • a squirt of honey, 
  • about 2 tbls of coconut, 
  • a heaped tbls of cocoa powder, 
  • and small handful of oats. 
  • Whizz it up until it turns into a huge ball in the food processor. 
  • Roll into little balls and shake them in a lunchbox with a few spoonfuls of coconut flour - best way to coat them!

We Instagram all our food here.

The ginger approves.
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